How To Pick Up Women (The Easy Way)
Guys come to me all the time for advice on how to pick up women. They’re hoping that I’ll reveal to them the greatest pick up lines that are going to magically get you laid, but in reality the art of pick up women is a bit more complicated. And it begins with mastering your “inner game” (mental attitude). In most cases, what’s holding these guys back is that they’re terribly apprehensive or nervous when approaching and trying to talk to girls…particularly if she happens to be attractive.
For a lot of guys, trying to learn how to pick up women is a huge challenge because they have deep-seated self-confidence issues. They do not have self-assurance and stifle themselves because of baseless thinking. When they see an attractive woman they like, they will come up with reason to not to talk with her. Most of the time the reasons are because they have predetermined ideas about what type of person they need to be to approach the woman, and they think that they do not fit the correct standards. However, there are other men, such as myself, where the anxiousness come from not know what they should talk about.
If you do not have great conversational skills, or no idea what you are going to say after you approach a woman and say hello, then talking with women can be an intimidating experience for you — and this makes it extremely difficult to figure out how to pick up women.
How To Pick Up Women, Tip #1: Don’t Make This Mistake
I used to often make the same stupid blunder when I first trying to figure out how to pick up women. In some scenarios I remember, in which I approached a girl and introduced myself, things would seem alright in within the first few minutes. We would be talking about a topic that we both enjoyed, or a person that both of us knew of, and it would seem as though she was interest in me. However, after this phase, then the conversation always began to die down. I would then not know what I should talk about subsequently, or attempt come up with a witty question to ask her, whatever I could do to relieve the uncomfortable silence. I would then blank out while forcing myself to think of anything to say, and I would notice her attention diminishing. She would stare at her watch, or begin glimpsing around the area.
Basically, she was searching for an exit out of the conversation, after which I would receive a polite dismissal. Something like “It was nice to meet you,” or “I’ve found my friends.” Then she would leave my life for good. Following years of spending time with some of the best “pick up artists” and watching what they do, I came up with a method which makes it impossible to run of conversational matter.
How To Pick Up Women, Tip #3: Use “Hooks & Ladders”
If your goal is to learn how to pick up women, start using the conversation method that I came up with called “hooks and ladders.” I will now explain how and why this works, so that you can try utilizing it in your upcoming conversations.
The “hook” is something that the other person brings up which you can change into a conversation either at the beginning or middle of the encounter.
The “ladder” is any chance in the discussion where you can put a positive view yourself in the other person’s mind that will make them have a better attitude towards you.
The basic idea is that whenever you are having a conversation with a woman, you should be on the lookout for hooks and turn them into ladders.
Prior to providing you with an example, I would like you to ponder three topics that you would normally converse with a beautiful woman about; good topics which demonstrate your best qualities. This could include your interests, passions, ambitions, talents, or experiences. So if the conversation runs into one of these subjects you will be well prepared to talk about them.
My three are: Music, writing and travel. I am well versed in these categories, and when I talk about them, I can create positive ideas in the other persons’ mind about myself.
Let’s use travel for this example. I have traveled to many interesting places, and there are plenty of countries and cities I would like to visit in the future.
Trying asking a standard question such as, “Do you like traveling?”
I like to put a twist on this instead, I’ll say something like, “Amy, you appear to be a person who leads an exciting lifestyle, would it be right to guess that you have done some traveling. So suppose I asked you, “If we could be transported to any place in the world right this minute, where would you like to be?.”
Say she gives the answer, “Jamaica. I visited for my spring break as a senior in college and my friends and I had a great time. The beaches were fantastic and we went dancing every night.”
To this, the normal guy would simply nod and say, “Wow, well that’s awesome. It sounds like you had fun.” After this, the conversation would end.
However, because I listen for “hooks” in this type of situation, this answer has just opened the doorway to plenty of additional topics that I can now talk about. Amy has given me multiple “hooks” (topics) which I can now change into “ladders” ( ways to make myself interesting).
First hook: She has visited Jamaica. When I think of this, the culture comes to mind. I think of music, say Bob Marley. Many people are familiar with him or fans of him. I’ll say something like “ I can definitely imagine you and me relaxing on the beach, drinking some beers and enjoying some Bob Marley. Do you like reggae music…” Now I have steered the conversation toward music; something I have a passion for and knowledge about.
Second hook: She visited another country to have fun and new experiences with her friends. This means that she’s adventurous and spontaneous. Interesting, I may now tell her about the summer when I travelled around Asia, and the different types of experiences I had. This becomes my “ladder”: I tell her that I think it is important to see the world and try new experiences. Thus showing myself as an audacious, worldly, spontaneous person myself, who can offer her new ideas.
Third hook: She has attended college. I can ask about where and when she went to school and what she studied. Then I can tell her a few things about my college experience. Did she spend most of her time partying or studying? Was she in a sorority that has some kind of outlandish initiation ritual? Did her major help her land a career that she is passionate about, or is she looking into something else in the future?
Additional hooks she provided through her answers are: She enjoys night clubs, and she likes the beach. I can use these topics to talk about or use them to give her a better idea about myself.
“So you said earlier that Jamaica has great clubs. Well, I am always enjoying checking out new places, and I noticed a bar, not far from here, that I think you might really like. It’s a bit crazy, if you think you are up to, maybe I could bring you there sometime.”
You can also use the “beach” hook, try something like: “So you really enjoy the beach? I do too. Recently, when I was in Mexico with a friend of mine…it’s a silly story. He had worked in the financial industry, making good money, for several years and then he up and decided to move down to Mexico and surf everyday for a year. My other friends thought that he was crazy. However, I admired that he lived his dream.”
(Now we have talked about passions and doing what you love, which is definitely a strong ladder.)
Now that you get the idea, whenever you are talking with a woman, she is offering plenty of information to you. “Look below the surface” and you can use this to move the conversation in new and different directions. At the same time, you can plant seeds in her mind regarding what type of person you are.
Pay attention and look out for hooks. She will provide them each time that she tells you something about herself or her life. You can use these to control the flow of the conversation. She will not stop and think “this guy is fun to talk to, but I am not really into to him” and look for a way out of the conversation.
Rather, she will be very interested in your enthusiasm and energy. However, you do not need to talk endlessly. At the right time, you will need to “close” the conversation. This might mean getting her phone number or going home with her.
The most successful way to “close” with a woman is to create the right atmosphere. The means that you stay in control of the conversation and keep it interesting, while creating the correct seeds. Simultaneously, while you are discussing with women you would like to follow a four-part method that strikes positive emotions and shifts her thoughts from inquisitiveness and curiosity, towards sexual appeal.
Those were some of the basics. Try reading one of the books that I recommend below, and you’ll master the finer points and “advanced secrets” of how to pick up women…
Copyright 2011 – How To Pick Up Women
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Category: Good Pick Up Lines To Use On Girls